Saturday, August 27, 2011

How to make your blog SEO UN-friendly

  1. Use a theme which is unreadable by occasional reader of your blog. Use a colour combination that is impossible to read e.g. Dark Blue over a Dark Background.
  2. Never place a navigation pane on your blog. It may help the user to jump from post to post and browse your blog easily.
  3. Never add social sharing buttons. They might help increase your blog traffic by socializing.
  4. Never submit your blog to any search engine.
  5. Write your posts in یل بللڑ (Yall balallar) words i.e. obscure and if possible non English words, that reader may not understand what the hell you wanna say.
  6. Your blog title must not tell what your blog is about.
  7. Your post title should have least connection to post content.
  8. Write your posts in long single shot mode with no paragraph breaks. This way your reader will not be able to dive into your post and understand what you wanna say.
  9. Disallow comments, trackbacks and pingbacks. They can harm your blog by increase the traffic and by creating user interaction.
  10. Never mention your blog URL when commenting on other blogs.
  11. Never try to socialize with other bloggers. Do not attend blog summits. Instead stay home, cheer and relax.
  12. Never submit your blog address to a blog directory and a feed aggregator. It might increase your blog traffic.
  13. Never add an About page.
  14. Never add a Contact Me page.
  15. Never answer emails from users if they fortunately find your email ID.